Thanks for letting me go crazy!

All right! It has finally happened - I have let myself go. I am not entirely sure what happened, but from what I can recall, I made a decision to become celibate and then the wheels fell off! I promised that I would write to you every week but it has been weeks since I last posted. 

I have just come from a meeting with one of the top bosses of Media24 where the poor man had to look into my furry baggy eyes. I had to point to charts and graphs with my chipped nails painted in 'Pistachio Ice', and I am trying to dress as a successful adult but my skin looks like that of a thirteen year old on account of me having stopped taking the pill (I have no use for such things).

No, this cannot continue! Unlike my good friends who attribute my new look to celibacy ("You can’t make good decisions when you are hungry" - my digs mate); I say it is my recent transfer and promotion which has caused the stress. One cannot stress the stress that is caused by packing up your entire life and moving to a place where the parties on the street are so loud that the bass makes your porcelain ornaments vibrate to the end of the table and smash to the floor. 

Then there is the exercise - I have decided to supplement my income with a couple of running wins - essentially turning me into a tracksuit wearing man beast with a really great ass. I actually went out to a five-star restaurant last week wearing my pyjamas. The worst part is that I do not care. 

But there is a kind of freedom that has come from taking myself out of the game. I don't care what people think of me and I have become totally selfish - how empowering! The downside, I guess, is that I don't actually like wearing green nail polish and looking at my one eyebrow is making me nostalgic for the days when I had two. Also, I now live in the city that was voted South Africa's sexiest - and I want to be sexy too! I think I will come back to reality now, starting with a wax!

Yes, this is me about to go to 'da club', holla at a biatch!