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| Irene Anderson; this WOMAN does not take steroids at all - at all! |
I don’t get the gym.
It’s like every time you go there all social norms get thrown out the
window. Men and women become segregated;
people are wearing all kinds of weird shit – spandex is cool, camel- toes are
in! I don’t get it!
I don’t mean to other them, because I myself am an avid gym-goer. But seriously gym people are weird.
I arrive at gym last night, driving at about 20kms – because
I am a woman driver, and you know, it’s a parking lot and I don’t want to hit
anything. When I am suddenly blinded by the lights of a Hummer h3, covered in Monster stickers (like from the energy drink), coming up from the rear. This giant man hoots before overtaking me and taking my intended parking spot! I am offended by so many things at this point in time, not only because he has taken my parking, not only because he has the Monster logo tattooed on his biceps, not only because this man looks like he has swallowed a thousand balloons... But what offends me the most is his license plate: Thrshr ZN (that's thrasher ZN) seriously, what exactly does he thrash? Weights? Small children? His girlfriend? I am not amused!
Finally after circling the block several times I am able to park and enter the gym.
I am a small girl, but I do believe that it is important to do weights. Friends, I am not talking about 'pumping' hundreds of Kg's here. I mean little weights, just for definition. But the weight room is a dangerous zone. All the Steroid-crazed men and women frequent this section. I don't ever feel confident here. I like to do the bum machine thought. But I always have to adjust it from around 150Kg's to 50Kg's. The man/lady next to me calls me a Pussy! I scuttle back to the treadmills and cycle machines, I am safe here. But I find myself surrounded by MILFS (a group of middle-aged women who dress like prostitutes, acronym for Mother I Wanna F...). Thrasher ZN is leaning against the bike near me. Maybe I should go for a swim instead. But to get to the pool I have to bypass the restaurant. Restaurant! What the hell! This place has the mentality of a pimp. Keep us fat and we will have to keep coming here. Sneaky. You sit and cycle whilst the smell of delicious food wafts past you. The second you finish your workout you sit down to a hamburger!
The most offensive place in a gym has to be the change room. All the unfit women tend to collect there, huge mounds of sweaty flesh all pink from exercise. What are they doing there you may ask, they aren't doing any exercise that is for sure. Mostly they gather in the sauna. People; there is no quick fix to getting skinny. If you weigh 200 Kilograms, sweating for twenty minutes is not going to help you! And why is everybody naked? It is a change room; you change from your clothes into other clothes. There are people in there who do not want to see your vagina. We can see into that sauna - you are ruining it for the rest of us! I go right into the corner, my back to the wall, and use my gym towel to cover myself so that not an inch of skin can be seen. The cleaner has been sitting in the same spot since I first started going to this gym. She has a way of looking at me - through me - as if she can see right into my soul. I realise that my back is against a mirror not a wall. The cleaner is staring at my butt not my soul. Fuuuuck!
Just as I think this place has shown me everything I come across this beauty.
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| This is not Thrasher ZN, but it might as well be - same mentality - same stupid tattoo! |
Finally after circling the block several times I am able to park and enter the gym.
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| Madonna the MILF |
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| Hmmm healthy after a good workout! |
The most offensive place in a gym has to be the change room. All the unfit women tend to collect there, huge mounds of sweaty flesh all pink from exercise. What are they doing there you may ask, they aren't doing any exercise that is for sure. Mostly they gather in the sauna. People; there is no quick fix to getting skinny. If you weigh 200 Kilograms, sweating for twenty minutes is not going to help you! And why is everybody naked? It is a change room; you change from your clothes into other clothes. There are people in there who do not want to see your vagina. We can see into that sauna - you are ruining it for the rest of us! I go right into the corner, my back to the wall, and use my gym towel to cover myself so that not an inch of skin can be seen. The cleaner has been sitting in the same spot since I first started going to this gym. She has a way of looking at me - through me - as if she can see right into my soul. I realise that my back is against a mirror not a wall. The cleaner is staring at my butt not my soul. Fuuuuck!
Just as I think this place has shown me everything I come across this beauty.
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| Please excuse the bad quality of this image, I do not take all my photographic equipment with me to exercise! |
What is this; a gym for hobos! Who is going to gym with a wash-basket full of soiled laundry and some Omo - ready to get elbow deep into their housework! I can't do this any more. From now on I am going to jog around my block, just me and the road. Gym is bad for you, very bad!
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