MTV Africa All Stars with Snoop Lion

One of the members of Camp Mulla chatting after their performance.

Saturday was one of the craziest nights of my life. I had to get legal advice in order to sort-of tell you what happened, but there are a lot of things I wish I could, but just can’t say. What I can say is that I had been waiting for this night ever since I first heard that Snoop Lion (aka Snoop Dog) was going to be in town. I received an invite to the African All Stars concert and I actually broke a nail in my haste to type a reply: “YES I WILL BE THERE – THANK YOU!”

Snoop Lion on stage at The Peoples Park.

I was already a little tired from the Dune Rats gig at Live - The Venue the previous night, but as soon as I drove into the stadium the atmosphere was electric! There were hundreds of people there - ok the number was closer to 13 000 people, but it was a truly South African representation. The crowd was completely mixed - I love this kind of vibe. It is the feeling you get when you go to a soccer match as opposed to a rugby game. We were all brothers and sisters and man, was I feeling the love.

Penny Lebyane on the red carpet.

Having said all of that, I must profess that there is one kind box I do enjoy being put into, and that is VIP. Friends, there is nothing like a bit of VIP access. You park close to the venue; get escorted to where you need to go and you get free food and drinks. I arrived with Penny Lebyane (of Motswako and Idols fame) so I was lucky enough to be escorted into the venue with her. The whole night was like that - there were ZAlebs everywhere. I just put away my press card and acted like I was a super star for the night.

I was welcomed at the door by a colleague who was working the event. When I asked her about not being able to take photos backstage (Getty had those privileges) she just said: “Trust me, once you are inside, you won’t want to leave.” She was right!

Dinner is served.

My favourite bar staff.

The VIP tent was a distinguishable from the highway; a huge see-through tent lit up with multicoloured lights. It was high off the ground with a vast wrapping balcony which took up half of the field alongside the stage. As I walked towards it I could see various lit tables with waitrons carrying silver trays of hors d'oeuvre scuttling beneath tall outdoor heaters. My invite said come at six; it was now half past and I was afraid of missing out on the snacks. Silly me. I have been told wondrous tales about events backed by the provincial government, there were three bars laden with alcohol, five different dining stations and fifteen Ola ice-cream carts filled with everything from Sole’s to Magnums. The best part was that if you were too busy talking about your wonderful, wealthy life, the waitrons were all too keen to fetch you whatever you needed. This is how the ZAlebs roll.

Cocktails and beautiful people.

I got myself a drink and headed out onto the balcony. I like doing events alone because I love meeting new people, but before that first drink I am always a frightened squirrel. I bumped into an obnoxious writer I know. This person prides himself on offending people. I usually find him rather funny, but he has recently graduated to mocking people just to see them get hurt. I don’t like this. But I went and said hello because I am nice. He started to mock my voice (it is rather nasal and whiny). As he stood above me, waiting for me to react I couldn’t help but notice some rather large nose hairs peeking out from his nostrils. Instead of giving him what he wants, I reached up and plucked the hairs straight from that large nose and showed them to him like a hunting trophy. I then wiped them on his shirt before heading back to the bar. I know it was childish, but seeing the tears in his eyes felt like wonderful revenge for all the ugly things he said to people in the past.   

Half of Camp Mulla, a Kenyan Alternative Hip Hop group.

Professor on the red carpet.

Professor was onstage and I couldn’t help twerking to Jezebel with the rest of the girls. The royal family (the younger members of course) were all sitting at the end of the room, distinguished by their royal leopard skins and headdresses. I asked the prince if I could take a photo with him and the family and I got chatting to one of the members of the family who I cannot reveal because he asked for weed in exchange for a private meeting with Snoop Lion (Snoop was staying backstage with his ‘people’).

Members of the Zulu Royal family.

When Snoop did eventually come on stage I lost myself. We all headed onto the balcony and danced for the rest of the night. He sang a lot of his old songs, so the throes of dancing managed to somehow damage the balcony which started to collapse under our booty-shaking asses. But all was well in the end - I managed to get my backstage pass.

After the show I made my way through the offstage smoke and haze ... and standing in front of me there he was: “Sup, you like my show”?

Snoop Lion on stage at the MTV Africa All Stars Concert. Note the Zulu headdress usually reserved for royalty.