UCI MTB World Cup 2014 Pietermaritzburg

Greg Minnaar crosses the finish line, he is pushed down to third place after Aaron Gwin wins the World Cup
and then we all go to the bar and get crunk! Photo: Gameplan Media

I do this embarrassing thing, when I get drunk, I pick up on foreigner's accents. As humiliating as it is, I can't help myself. It could be worse - I know people who cry when they get drunk! 

So Saturday night saw the celebration of the end of the UCI MTB World Cup in Pietermaritzburg. The city had been crawling with foreigners for weeks. I was in danger, but luckily I had declared myself sober whilst I was training for a marathon.

My job is so amazing because I get to meet interesting new people who lead amazing lives. At the end of the day I celebrated with them at a local pub. And I had a drink. Aaaand apparently being fit coupled with not having had a drink in several weeks equals being drunk.

I found myself at a nightclub talking to some American man who kept taking his teeth out and telling me he was a winner when I was accosted by a South American named - I don't know - maybe it was Manie, Miguel - it could have been Mario? Anyway let's just call him Mario. 

So Mario started to chat and I love meeting new people so I was making conversation when he told me he bought "some amazing weed, eeet wasa five a rand". I'm like, "Five rand weed is not good weed my friend." He responds with, "Weel you smoke witha a mia." I dont mean to sound stuck-up here but if I was going to smoke weed it would not be from a five-rand bankie. I declined and went dancing with a wonderful Ecuadorian. 

Then Mario was back and dancing by me. I could smell the burned seeds. 
"Weel you a sleep witha a me," he whined. 
"NO," I say firmly. 
"Buta a why?" he wines. 
"Because I don't know you", I replied.
"Buta I ride in today and I am good also," he tried.
"No," said I.

Anyway this conversation became a little game and every time I passed him he shouted "Buta a WHY". And as I got drunker I started to mimic the accent to the point that I was shouting back "No" but the O sound was short like they say in Spanish. 
Halfway through the night and I was replying "No, gracias", whilst doing my best to bypass the now many men who were taking their teeth out. 

As an aside, I always wondered why these riders have perfect teeth - mostly they are fake (as I realised), which kinda makes sense if you think about it. But I like to think this is just the minority. I digress.

At the end of the night my reply to Mario's "buta Whyeee" was "irse con su erección feo"! And I never saw him again.

What an amazing weekend, what an amazing night. I am so blessed to have met so many new friends. Los amo a todos - I think that's how you say it - I am not drunk...