Phallicsy: Art still has power

"Yeah, that right, I'm your President Bitch!" 

"The SACP is outraged at the insulting, disrespectful...disgusting, and sadistic so-called portrait of President Zuma by Brett Murray, " spokesperson Malesela Maleka said in a statement. "This portrait is deeply offensive and an extreme act of provocation to the overwhelming majority of our people. To us Brett Murray has crossed the line."       -The SACP speaking out against the 1.85m- high painting entitled The Spear, which features in the exhibition; Hail to the Thief 2 by Brett Murray at the Goodman Gallery in Johannesburg.

Forgive me friends, but who the fuck is Brett Murray and where in Gods name is the Goodman Art Gallery? I don't say this to be cruel... I guess I'm a little jealous because I never became famous. In 2010 I did a 2D animated art piece entitled The Emperor's New Clothes, based on the children's tale by Hans Christian Andersen, which featured a naked Zuma parading around a village. Nobody seemed particularly perturbed, I never became famous! In fact one might comment that this sort of art is somewhat juvenile. Lets be real for a minute, I'm sure Brett is an amazing guy, (he has all the qualities that I am looking for- now with the added benefit of being rich and famous), but what a load of shit. His work is rather ho-hum, although I do like statement pieces. But is it art?

OK perhaps I'm not that interested in Brett 

 I would argue that it is indeed art. What makes an art piece? To me art is determined not only by an artists skill, but by their ability to bring about an emotional resonance within its audience. The Spear has in fact caused such a raucous, creating public debate around the role of our President, that we can indeed call it art. But to whom does it speak? In my opinion, most humble, our President is not at all offended by this portrait. What male in his right mind is offended by being portrayed as being so well endowed. In fact any man would be proud to display such a large member...and that is him flaccid! The truth is that our President has a reputation for his insatiable sexual appetite. One has to wonder why then the ANC is pushing so hard to put the spotlight on this issue. The ANC find this portrait provocative and "deeply offensive", but by taking action against the artist, Zuma's sexual history will once again be aired. Zuma's advisor's have made a grave mistake which will further tarnish the image of our President. Perhaps Zuma should take a leaf out of  Canadian Premier Stephen Harper's book. A current exhibition by Margaret Sutherland at the public library in Kingston, features a nude painting of the Premier entitled Emperor Haute Couture. It shows a nude Harper reclining on a chaise surrounded by suited onlookers, with a board looking dog at his feet. MP Scott Brison said of the painting: "It's obvious Harper hasn't got much to hide." And what a truth it is! Harper should sue for being portrayed with such a small penis. But instead his spokesperson Paula Schuck commented: "Everyone knows he is a cat person."
Well played Harper, with a little humour all crisis can be averted.

"I have a small willy."

As I am writing this, the news is reporting on two gentlemen who have just defaced this portrait.
http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Zuma-painting-defaced-at-Goodman-Gallery-20120522

So here I was about to launch into a big phallic debate about the African-penis-myth, but now I just feel that it is my job as a thinking person to leave this subject alone. Lets not pay any more attention to this juvenile debate, let the politicians rip each other apart. This is not an issue of race or indecency or even art, it is a campaign by the ANC to tarnish our Presidents reputation.

Now this is art!

If you ask me The Spear is a much better painting now and one thing is for sure, the German who bought it for R136 000 is laughing all the way to the bank. Imagine the returns on that investment. 

People say its a sad day for art when intolerance leads to the defacing of an artists work. I think today is a fabulous day because it proves that art still has power. I wish I could be so glamorous as to have my work so publicly displayed. And one day- if I'm really lucky the ANC can launch a campaign against me, that is influence!

2005, Queen Victoria by Banksy; You don't see the Royals kicking up a fuss at this beautiful piece.