Red Bull Studio Nights - Origin

You have to forgive my sweaty excitement - I was sweating and excited!

So last Friday night was one of my best nights at The Origin Nightclub in Durban. I have been so excited for this night since I found out that some of my favourite South African DJ’s were playing. About two weeks before this event I set up an interview with my friend Das Kapital, who would be closing the event as one of the headlining DJ’s. So my excitement was about through the roof – luckily I was taking my friend and partner in crime Amy with to keep me grounded. And considering that I was actually working at this event, I really needed her.

Oh just Origin haze

We got to the club and ordered our first drink and, like every good night, I had tequila to get started. The first thing I did was get hold of Das Kapital. The wonderful lad came and rescued us and the next thing we knew we were sipping drinks backstage. I was trying to be a true journalist, armed with pen, writing pad and my voice recorder (also I was feeling a little shy so it helps to look official). There I stood in the midst of these people whom I knew intimately through their music, but they had no clue who I was. I couldn't help worrying that everyone would think I was a groupie trying to get laid. So I whipped out all my instruments and started my interview with Das Kapital. The man has got to be one of the most impressive people I have met. One of the first things he did say was that he loves music (but there is no way he will ever play Levels, even if it gets the crowd going). I could not help but get caught up in his passion.

Haezer doing his thang

I had such a sobering moment when I saw Haezer in the corner of the room. I am so embarrassed to admit this, but I was star struck.  Ever since I heard James Bond I have been a mad fan! I was such a loser; I couldn't even go up to him and introduce myself because I am a social retard. So I smiled awkwardly and quickly looked away and carried on trying to look as if I belonged.

Toyota Cressida
doing her thang

All of a sudden I had an extraordinary encounter - I met a real live groupie! She was everything you would imagine her to be. She was blonde, beautiful, scantily clad and she had a backpack on. I can only imagine that the contents of this satchel contained some overnight supplies so that she would be armed for a night-time encounter. She came up to DK and me and said something unintelligible and then she was off onto the next guy. I asked him if this was a common phenomenon at a gig and he just smiled. Obviously it is one of the perks of the job.

Sibot and Toyota Cressida got up and did their thang on stage. As I watched I couldn't help thinking that I have an amazing life and that I am a very lucky girl! But to get the most of the set I went onto the dance floor to party with the rest of Origin. It was just too good to pass up. Next up was Haezer. I rushed backstage to watch like some sad puppy begging to be adopted from the SPCA. But just my luck, the man has a girlfriend. Of course he does!

Iam  Nutscratchers

Jay Tweek back stage

There was a table and fridges backstage are filled with drinks. I got chatting to the local Durban DJs; Jay Tweek and Iam Nutscratchers, where we talked politics, law and living in Durban. They then poured tequila down my throat. It was 2am and DK told  me he was about to go on. What a champ. He told me I could just go with him to the decks and experience what he does first hand. Yay! This is what I'm talking about. I had left the Canon 550D with the club managers (probably a safer option in light of all the tequila I had drank) so I was left with my little quickpix. But fuck that I was in the DJ booth. I got all snap happy! I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have had that opportunity.

At around 3:30 Amy returned to my side. The girl had been partying like a superstar and she was exhausted. As much as I would have loved to stay for the end of the DK set, there is no way I would have made her wait for me in that state. So sadly I had to say my goodbyes. But the night did not end there. Amy and I made the taxi driver stop at five different petrol stations just so that we could get the perfect pie! Das Kapital you made my night.  Thank you for being such an amazing, humble and talented individual. Your music is great – you are great.

Please catch my official interview with Das Kapital next Monday (4th Feb), oh and go out and listen to his shit!

Duck-faced lovin'

A fish out of water

I must firstly apologise because I left my camera at home which means there are very few photos of this night which is the biggest shame! But for your enjoyment I did try to find some on the Internet that would accurately describe events and places. 

White people can't dance! At least one photo survived the night ...

So apparently nobody goes out in Durban on a Friday night. I found this out the hard way. But it didn't matter because my friends and I were off to the yacht club to a farewell party. It was Blake the Snake’s farewell and this guy seriously knows how to get rid of a shit load of alcohol. This was my kind of party, you know - the kind where the alcohol is free and the people are amazing. There really is nothing better than a good drink with friends. The problem is that my friends and I can’t just have a nice sit-down party without doing something really fun and stupid. So it was getting towards the end of the night and things were winding down. We had been making fun of the gigantic stuffed Marlin in the club hall when suddenly a plan was hatched! We decided that the Marlin looked sad and needed to come live at my friend Turk’s house. So we set up an elaborate plan to distract the guard (I did this by talking to him about the pros and cons of being a sea horse) and Lulu and Turk snuck the Marlin through the back door and into Turk’s car. Unfortunately the Marlin was so damn big the tip of its beak got snapped off in the car door. The Marlin took prize place on the wall above the pool table at Turk’s. We had about half an hour’s worth of fun with it by placing various
objects in an around its mouth and inevitably we were board again.

Just imagine Marlin with an assortment of cheeses in his mouth and you get the idea.

So when all else fails in Durban, Florida Road is one of my favourite places. So off we went to Florida Road. We got there and guess what? Most of my favourite bars weren't open because most of Durban parties on a Saturday. Fuuuk.

... and we all recognise Florida Road

We found a bar thought and it was cool, but not really great. I got pushed by some juiced up Guido Jersey Shore wannabe man and obviously this was not my ideal way to spend the night.

These guys tried to start
a fight with me

So we left the bar in hot pursuit of a better venue. We were standing on the pavement busy discussing our options when a loud noise caught our attention. In the tall block of flats on the opposite side of the road there was obviously a massive party going on at the top floor. So, reassessing our options, we decided that the only way we were going to have fun was by crashing that party. We go to the gate and with some very clever detective work we found the flat number and pressed their intercom. We saw that the party was in full swing by the amount of people dancing and partying on the balcony. A man answered the intercom. “Hello” We said, “are you having a party”?  “Yes” the man responded, “I am so sorry. We will try to and keep it down”. We told him that we actually wanted to come and party with him. After a short pause he said that he would be right down. This man was my hero. This was the real Mzansi spirit. He didn't know any of us but he was willing to share his party. What a champ!

He fetched us and took us all up to his suit. There were about ten of us whiteys and we arrived at a huge house party.  Everybody stopped and stared - not only because we were strangers’ gate crashing, but because out of the two hundred and something strong crowd we were the only white people. After about a second of silence we are openly welcomed by everyone with warm smiles and open arms. The music started up again and we were handed ice-cold beers. We spent the night dancing and chatting and drinking and laughing. This is what I would call a party.

This is what happens when you let white people into your party.

I just have to say that if we gate crashed a white person’s party we probably would have been assaulted and sent to hospital. I have never felt such warmth and love from strangers. Black people know how to party – and they party hard and with style. We white people can’t dance and we certainly don’t like to share. So next time you find yourself with nothing to do, go find a ‘black party’ I guarantee you the best night ever! This is such a wonderful country filled with wonderful, different people; let’s get to know our neighbours!

Dat ass. ..

Oh and that Marlin... The following morning whilst we were all nursing a hangover, Turk had to return him because somehow when the yacht club noticed the empty space on the wall where the Marlin used to be – They knew we had something to do with it. Apparently stuffed Marlins are quite expensive!

Some men...

Ladies night and I am smashed y'all!

Girls you know what it is like... You get all dolled up and anticipate a wonderful evening out with your best girlfriends. But no matter where you go there are always that pack of 'lone rangers' that think they are God's gift to all women.
I have to tell you this story because I know you can all relate to it.

Ladies you know what I mean!

It is Friday night and me and the girls are out to have some drinks and a good time. We are at some dodgy pub, but it is OK because we aren't there to meet anyone, it just happens to be the only place open in the area. We sit alone trying to avoid that inevitable group of men that would do anything for a lay. And it starts...

My (extremely beautiful) friend goes to the bar to get some drinks when this group of men starts to wolf whistle at her. They keep shouting at her to come over, that they will buy her a drink and that she is so hot, etc. Firstly boys; we can buy our own drinks, and secondly who does that? So, being the classy lady that she is, she ignores them. So then they shout at her; "It's OK, you aren't that hot anyway"! People, please!
So our night goes on and we are having a good time when we are joined by this same pack of boys (I use the word boys on purpose). Here is an account of the conversation I had with one of them - I have changed his name because this is the kinda guy who would sue me!

Me: Hello, my name is Alex. I shake his hand.
T.P: Hi, I'm Ted...Ted Pienaar (again I have changed his name).
Me: So what do you do Ted? (This is a tad bold on my part, but I have alcohol courage).
T.P: Perhaps you did not hear me. My name is TED PIENAAR. (OK people, I work in the media, I know who he is, but I don't like his attitude, so I continue.)
Me: Oh, no I heard you. I just wanted to know a little more about you. At this point his friend has joined the conversation with his offering of a Brutal Fruit!
Friend: Hay doll, my buddy here is the Ted Pienaar ... you know - the (insert sport) world champion.
Me: Oh I'm sorry, am I meant to be impressed by that? OK this was mean of me...
T.P: I am also an artist! 
Me: I ride a bike... a stationary bike at the gym every morning! My joke falls flat.
Friend: Please baby! He puts a huge stinky - sweaty arm around my shoulder. I can tell you haven't exercised a day in your life! Your body is all ... Voluptuous! Now this would normally be a compliment, but the way he said it made me feel so so... I can only describe how I felt with a picture...

The fuck did you just say to me?

We decide it is time to go.

I wanted to share this story because for that moment I felt like I wasn't good enough. And I realise that these men probably talk to everyone in this arrogant way. I can just imagine some woman falling for this act and having their feelings hurt. Ladies, we must resolve to make our own money so that we don't rely on stupid men to keep us. There is nothing sexier than a strong independent woman. This doesn't mean that you have to buy your own drinks forever, I am just saying that you do not need to change who you are to make this kind of man like you.

New Years Netherwood style

It's OK, this is just a sparkling wine, I drank the Champagne!

OK, so it is that time of the year again - time for new beginnings and fresh starts. If you haven't found that perfect job/partner/hobby/weight yet this is the time to do it. There is no excuse not to make 2013 an amazing year.

New years eve is such a complex celebration. How often have you heard your friends complain that they would rather stay at home? I will tell you what my guru Phontsog always says. He attributes a crappy new years to having too many expectations for the evening. The man is a genius! So instead of dreaming up a crazy scenario where you ride a Unicorn and kiss Russell Brand and turn into a mermaid (OK this is clearly my fantasy), why not just put on your Sunday best and treat it like your usual party night? I guarantee the night will exceed your expectations!

Gotta love a unicorn ...

I decided to spend my new years eve with great friends hanging out with the rich and the fabulous at a beautiful location in the Natal Midlands. Our gracious host had ensured the night would end in debauchery by purchasing 900 cases of Red Bull (including the Red Bull girls) and enough Jagermeister and Tequila for every one of those cases!

Netherwood, before twelve am ...

My best moments were:

Is this safe?

Lighting lanterns and watching them drift away (We were too drunk to worry about the environmental implications).


When the first lantern was lit, my friends and I were standing at the front of Netherwood so we just saw a giant glowing ball in the sky. My friend told me that it was the Red star Betelgeuse but it was travelling at such a speed! So we all concluded that it was a comet. Then it disappeared, so we just chalked it up to those Jager Bombs which we had been knocking back!

A bit of lovin...

Daddy! Staph!

Watching drunk men dance 

This included watching our hoast's mom and dad dancing on the bar top. This is the dad trying to get us drunk, and succeeding!

Netherwood after twelve am ... This is our host!

Turning the dance floor into a slip-n-slide

So this is usually a classy venue which hosts lavish weddings and fancy dinners. Why not put dish-washing liquid on the parquet floor and turn it into a water park? Even better than this was watching people slip and fall on the soapy floor!

Two drinks - because why not?

Partying with my friends

I don't care where I am or who I am with, when the music is pumping and the drinks are flowing I am a happy girl!


New years resolutions 2013
Obviously this is a New years post, so I have to give you my resolution list.

Here they are:

1. Be nicer to people. I saw a woman with a beard at gym once and I judged her, I feel bad.
2. Go back to gym. I know I said I would never go back after my Thrasher experience, http://alexsweetcharity.blogspot.com/2012/08/gym-thrasher-and-some-milfs.html but perhaps it is time to find a nice womens gym.

3. I will wear more colour. White and black are not colours...
4. Even if I am single I will bikini wax! There is no need to let myself go, I am too young to be caught with my pants down and Donald Trump's toupee on my crotch!

5. Be less annoying. I like to talk ... I guess sometimes people don't always like to listen, I will work on that.
6. Skin tone. Get a little sun, but don't overdo it. I look like the walking dead; perhaps I will trade my SPF 50 for a 30...
7. Give car guards money. In 2012 I had a strict policy on tips. The guard got a tip if they:
a) helped me find a parking IF I needed help;
b) if they helped me into and out of a tricky parking; and
c) if they did not talk to me about Jesus (and did the above).
Now I will tip them, but the Jesus thing still stands...
8. Smile. I don't smile, so people think I am an angry bitch. I am just a bitch.
9. Take more photos. The world is so beautiful, I need more memories and I am not getting any younger.
10. Write more and keep deadlines. I will ensure that I keep you all up to date on the party scene here in South Africa. The ins and outs, the ups and downs, the glamorous and fab and all the hilarious that is going on.

I wish you all a happy, healthy and wealthy 2013.