No don't push!

I giggle when I'm nervous.

The nurse came into my cubicle and pulled the curtains closed around us. I asked her if I should take off my pants. She snapped back that I shouldn't be wearing any in the first place. In one hand she was holding the enema bottle, in the other she had a tube of lube. I started to giggle.

She told me I needed to turn over and relax. A sharp pain.

"No don't push," shouted the nurse.

"I'm sorry nurse. I'm so sorry. I don't even know I'm doing it," I giggled.

"NO don't laugh, relax or it will hurt," she replied.

It did hurt. I tried to relax. I felt a sensation that I never wish to feel again as the saline solution sprayed into my colon. By now I felt so uncomfortable that my giggles had turned to laughter.

"NO DON'T LAUGH!" was the last thing I heard as I gave out a huge belly laugh which expelled the enema onto the curtain behind me.

"You are NAUGHTY!" the nurse laughed as she repeated the procedure.

I can only imagine what the other patients in the intimate ward of St Anne's hospital were thinking as they overheard all the commotion which ended with a wet curtain in front of them. 

The nurse called my mom back into the cubical. Before walking out, she wiped the sweat off her brow and exclaimed: "Eish! It was bad."

A week earlier I had been to see a specialist. It was to be the solution to months of tests and doctors prodding me and nurses taking blood. I had lived through my worst fears. Completely alone I had to give viles of blood, living through my phobia with the help of kind nurses who dried my tears and gave me suckers and held me when I cried.

Cancer is something that every person can relate to in some way or another. Our family is no exception. We are riddled with a smorgasbord of cancers from skin to breast, stomach, you name it - we have it. Unfortunately one of these cancers is hereditary colon cancer. 

I haven't written in a while because I have been concentrating on getting better. Today I am cancer free and happy. But I am one of the lucky ones. I cannot stress enough the importance of being healthy and keeping a positive attitude. It saved my life. 

My mom said I woke up and asked her to take a photo for my blog!